Back to Work

My first day back to work was Wednesday. One part of me is glad to be back and doing something different than changing diaper, feeding, and cooking. Yet another part of me don't really want to leave the kids. I am not worried about Caleb as much because he is doing well at day care since he is a big boy now. Emotionally it's hard because I know Joshie is better under my care. Like Caleb at the same age, Joshie doesn't drink much milk at daycare. Not sure why that is. It was hard to get through with Caleb and it still is with Joshie. When Hebron and I feed him, he will drink the entire bottle of 5 oz, but the day care person said that he won't drink from her. We gave her tips on how we feed him. But still she can't seem to feed him. If he doesn't drink when it's time for a feeding, she will wait till the next feeding which is 3 hours later instead of trying again in an hour. So at day care he would go 5 -6 hrs without food. Joshie does want to eat, but he's just a little picky. I am partly frustrated that the day care person doesn't try harder. If Joshie drink 7 oz the entire day there I would be happy. But when he drinks less than 5 oz, I wish that I could be home with him.

Sometime I wonder if there is another alternative. Should I stay home with Joshie? Financially we can't afford it on a long term basis, but we should be ok for a short period of time. Sometime I wonder if it's because I can't let go or I just don't want to work. It's partly both. I am tired of gone back to the same company and doing the same thing. I would really want to try something different.