"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5



Monday, January 18, 2016

A Desperate Plea for My Boy

There seems to constantly be bad news about C's teeth.  We started his orthodontic journey two years ago and till this day, there is no end in sight.  In fact, it got worst.  I couldn't sleep for the past few days and got up at 3 am this morning.  
On Saturday, H took C to see the Endodontist recommended by Harry regarding his permanent tooth that has been loose for over a year now.  It turned out that his own body has been attacking that tooth and causing the root to erode away.  Apparently, there was trama to that tooth.  It was either from the side way canine or the many oral surgeries that he had, of course, doctors don’t want to tell us so they won’t be liable.  We waited for so long after the surgery for the tooth to stabilize and it didn’t.  But in the mean time it is eroding away.  The orthodontist doesn’t know how to move forward with his treatment at this point since she can’t use the front teeth as anchor to pull the jaw out.  Then, she thought that she can push the jaw back.  However, if this is done, he will have lots of spaces that need implants, which can’t be done until he is 18.  She originally took out some teeth in the front so she can pull everything forward.  It seemed like taking C to the orthodontist is causing more harm than good.  My lack of judgement and not speak up more for him has brought this onto him and cause him to suffer unnecessarily. The Endodontist's plan is to give him a root canal and inject calcium something into the root to stop the erosion and hopefully promote bone growth.  Will this save his tooth?  She can't promise.  Will it be strong enough for the Orthodontist to continue treatment?  She doesn't know.  But this is the only thing she can think of to do.  So now all orthodontic work will cease until further result from the Endodontist.   How will we finish his oral treatment? No one knows.  I feel so hopeless.  One thing I am thankful for is that his issues are not life threatening.  

On my morning run is past Sunday, I was so emotional that I couldn't run much due to all the crying. I said to God, "I prayed the very first time C had surgery and every time after that.  How come you didn't hear me?"  I went to church feeling emotional and burdened.  H led worship that day. Not knowing that I was distraught, he started out saying, "Sometimes we treat God like a Santa Claus, we expect Him to bring us gifts.  If He is not going to answer our prayers from this day forward, would we still love Him and worship Him?"  Tears streamed down my face, thankfully no one saw me, and I knew that I have no right to expect anything from God.  He already gave me the ultimate gift of His Son.  Jesus died on the cross for me and brought me unconditional love and acceptance from my heavenly Father.  What right do I have to demand anything?  In fact, I owe Him everything.  Yes, He is still worthy of my all.  But I begged that He would step in to help C. Even though, I shouldn't have spoken to God that way, He forgave me, sympathized with my pain, and offered me comfort.  It felt as if He spoke to me and me alone.

At the beginning of last week, I was working on Sunday School homework in the book called Women of Simplicity.  There was an exercise to find verses that would keep us grounding in God’s word and truth.  Somehow, I stumbled across Exodus 14:14.  So I tucked this verse away. At Sunday School, I forgot to bring my book, but we went around sharing those verses that we found, of all the verses, this verse came up in my mind.  When I read it that day, it seems as if God used it to speak to me.  Exodus 14:13-14 says “Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”  Moses was leading the Israelites out of Egypt and in front of them was the Red Sea and behind them the Egyptian army in pursue.  They had no where to go.  God fought for them and opened up a way.  I felt so comforted by this verse.  Although I don't know what else to do, God will fight for C and lead me.  He knew I needed this verse today, so He gave it to me in advance.  He is so good. 

I am writing to ask you all, who are my prayer partners and faithful friends, to pray for C with me.  Please pray that the root canal method will stabilize his tooth and make it strong.  Also that the Orthodontist would be able to complete her work of pulling his teeth and jaw forward or whatever method that will cause the least amount of discomfort and also preserve his good teeth.  I believe God can still work miracles even though the situation may not be so bright.  Just like when Lazarus was sick, Jesus could have said a word and healed him.  But He didn't and waited until Lazarus died before He went to save him.  Because raising the dead was a miracle that only God can perform.  That act not only saved Lazarus, but it also showed His power.  If his tooth healed on its own, the doctors would say that the body healed itself.  If God heals him now, it is a work of a miracle.  May God be glorified and His power shine through in C's journey.