C turned 10

Oh wow, how time flies.  C turned 10 today.   I remember he was a tough baby.  He had trouble sleeping and eating.  When most infants sleep, he would always be awake making me so tired.  I remember getting on my knees with H, praying and asking for God's help to care for and raise C.  Look at him now; healthy and thriving.  It's emotional for me mainly because I only have 8 more years with him and I am not sure whether I did a good job this past decade.  If I can turn back time, I would do so many things differently.

Everyone needs someone in their life to believe in them and tell them how precious and valuable they are.  Encouraging words goes a long way.  So I took this opportunity to give C a special blessing.  Here is a blessing from a mother's heart.

C's 10 Years Old Blessing

C, you are my son and I love you with all my heart.  I can’t believe you have now reached double-digits in age and are no longer a little boy.  You are becoming a young man, capable of doing whatever you put your mind to.   You have a smart and inquisitive mind, always asking questions about how things work, and that’s how you can do those slide puzzles in no time at all.  I love your strong sense of right and wrong, and your desire to always choose the right path.  You don't ever have to feel like you are not good enough because God has uniquely gifted you with all that you need to succeed.  He has planned for you to do amazing things with your life.  You will grow up one day to be a leader of integrity who is honest and caring, whom God will use to show His love to the world.  I am very proud that you try your best and persevere in areas where you are weak in.  It’s easy for people who are good at something to keep doing it.  Extraordinary people are those who keep trying when things are hard and don’t give up.  Today, I bless you with all the blessings of love, peace, joy, and wisdom that the Lord promised in His holy word.  As you begin your journey of becoming a man, I want to give you this special gift as a symbol of your growth toward independence.  You are an amazing boy and I am blessed to be your mother.

My gift to him was a personalized apron and a cookbook.  Beside encouraging him to love the Lord with all his heart, it's my job to train him for the real world.  I want him to be a blessing to himself, those around him, and especially his future wife and family.  So that means, he needs to know how to cook a little and also do some household chores.  I have been teaching him how to cook and make simple meals.  Because he is older now, he will have the privilege to handle a small part of our household budget and will also have to do his own laundry. 

God's Gentle Reminder

As soon as the New Year began, work just took off.  Trying to still work out and run amidst my work schedule is leaving me with no time to blog or watch TV.  But I had to blog about this since it's indeed God's way of reminding me to stay on the path. 

I had a touching conversation with J, boy #2 tonight on the drive home just he and I. 
J: I am going to make you a rubber band bracelet, what color would you like?
Me: Purple, why are you making me one?  It's not my birthday or Mother's day.
J:  Because you are my beloved Mama and I love spending time with you.  (Awww!)
Me: Oh, I love you too.  How did you know how to use the word "beloved"?
J: I read it in a book.  Do you love me more now or when I was a baby?
Me:  I love you the same because you are my beloved J.  But I do miss the time when you were a chubby baby.  I love cuddling with you and sleep.  And I loved it when you tried to kiss me but didn't know how so you ended up eating my chin instead. 
J: I don't want to leave home to go to college because I don't want to leave you. 
Me:  You need to go to college.  You will love it because you get to spend lots of time with your friends and learn new things. 
J:  I can spend time with my friends in the day time and come home at night.  I don't want to leave my family. 

WOW!  That touched my heart in such a deep way.  I know that will change when he is a teen, but I am thankful for his heart now.  With all the mistakes that I made and the yelling that I did, I can't believe he still values his time with me. 

Recently, recruiters have been contacting me about job opportunities.  I went on some interviews, but of course they are looking for full time employee.  There is a job that's perfect for me.  Good pay, great industry, and with potential upward possibility.  It's just what my career needs.  They also like me.  So if I am willing to work full time, the job is mine.  But I turned them down and offer to work 80-85% of the work week.  That's the most I've work since C was born.  Of course, they don't want that.  So I didn't get it.  I don't know about other moms, but I've always been thorn between career and family.  I am an ambitious person, I want to achieve more.  But I also want to give my kids my time and attention.  Turning down good jobs are hard for me no matter how many times I did it.  Each time is hard and each time I have to remind myself that home is where God calls me to be.  It's where I should channel my energy.  Sometimes I also wonder, is my sacrifice making a difference?  Or did I do it for nothing?  I wasn't sure of the benefit, but I am sure that's what God wants me to do.  So I keep looking for a part time job because I know He will provide.  Tonight, God used J to remind me that I am making a difference.  My sacrifice is well worth it because J values my time with him.  I will continue to seek for jobs that fits into the family's schedule and priority.  Thank you Lord for reminding me to stay true to what You've called me to and You will take care of the rest.