First day of school

First day of school is hard for me emotionally.  A small part of me is glad for the schedule and routine.  But mostly, I am sad that summer is over and that academically my kids are one year older.  C is now in 3rd grade, J is 1st grade, and K is 2.5 years old and can start Pre-school.  Where has the time gone?  Every year it has been hard, but since I was also in school the past 4 years, I just push those emotions aside because I don't have time for them.  But now, I have time to feel and think.  And the tears began to flow.  I've made so many mistakes in the past 8 years as a mom, what if my mistakes caused a permanent scar or worst yet, I didn't give them what they need to thrive?  What if I didn't prepare them adequately academically, spiritually, and emotionally?  What if, in the cut throat world, they are not equipped? 

I realized that I dread the first day of school because the time I have with my kids are decreasing.  I fear that I don't have enough time to teach and mold them.  Fears can paralyze a person and bring about guilt.  For me, my fears remind me that I need to trust in God's faithfulness.  Time and time again the scriptures tell me that God is good and faithful to those who obeys.


Deut 7:9 says that "Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments."  

Deut 11:13 - 15 says,  "So if you faithfully obey the commands I am giving you today—to love the Lord your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul — ¹⁴ then I will send rain on your land in its season, both autumn and spring rains, so that you may gather in your grain, new wine and olive oil. ¹⁵ I will provide grass in the fields for your cattle, and you will eat and be satisfied. "

John 15:5 says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

All I need to do is depend on Him.  He wants me to come to Him for parenting advice and when I don't know what to do.  He wants me to be dependent on Him for everything, not to take matters into my own hands.  I need to trust in His perfect plan for my children and do my best in obedience to Him.