Santa Rosa Fire Respond Work

I had the privilege of volunteering with Samaritan's Purse (SP) to help homeowners in Santa Rosa who wanted help sifting through ashes of their burned home for valuables and mementoes that are precious to them.  Ever since the hurricane in Texas and fires in CA, I have been looking for opportunities to help people who are affected.  I just couldn't find any opportunities in my time frame.  But recently, my boss had approved my reduced work schedule, and at the same time, a mentor at a church told me about the opportunity, so off I went after making provisions for my family.

I am so humble to have the opportunity to serve a retired Novato police officer and a military family and witnessed a miracle. After checking in and listening to the safety orientation with SP, a team of 8 to 10 are sent out to work on two sites a day, spending a little over 3 hrs at a site with a short lunch and potty break in between.  The area we went to was totally destroyed and two stories houses were flattened.  Everything was burned with mostly ashes remaining.  The first site was the home of the retired officer.  He told us he would like to find his old police badges, other officers badges that he collected, and collectable coins.  Since these things are metal, we were able to find quite a bit of them.  Every time we found something, we would cheer and yell.  Finding them was a blessing from God, because there was so much ashes that we were only able to sift through half of it with the time given to us.  We had to be strategic as to where to dig and sift.

The second site required more physical labor because of the afternoon sun and it is located on a steep

hill where the two stories home collapsed into the basement.  Since the house was more vertical and foundation was smaller, debris were stacked on top of each other.   The homeowner wanted to find some jewelry, class ring, and a figurine of Don Quixote.  This figurine is important to him because it was something precious between him and his deceased mother.  We have no idea what the figurine looks like.  We were told that it was white with a man sitting on top of some kind of animal.  The site had so many metal things that we had to first moved them away.  I found a pile of coins which meant that the jewelry was close by because the homeowner said that she had a jar of coins on her dresser where her jewelry was.  We dug for two hours and didn't find anything.  We were discouraged because we found so many things at the first site.  So I stood there silently and prayed because I know God can direct our path.  "God, please lead us to finding something valuable for these people to put a smile on their faces."  Immediately afterwards, my teammate who was next to me prayed the same prayer out loud.  After my break, I began to dig at a place where a desk used to be because I can still see the metal part of the chair.  My teammate Suzan found a piece of something black and grey that vaguely resemble half an animal and it was just sitting on top of the debris.  We showed it to the homeowner and he started crying, saying that it's Don Quixote!  That one piece was worth all the work.  Then I started digging in that similar area but a little to the side.  I found something round with a cap like hat in the same color and texture as the first piece.  Then to the side was a tiny piece that fits perfectly to form a round hat for Don.  Then Suzan found another piece with the same color and texture.  It turned out that we did find the head of Don Quixote and the saddle he sat on.  Some would say that this is a coincident, but I say it's a miracle because as Hebron likes to say, "When we pray, coincidences happen."  I have seem too many miracles like this to attribute them all to coincident.  I see it as Jesus' gentle way of telling them that He cares about their pain and that He will walk with them every step of the way if they choose Him.  Isaiah 41:10 says, "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

The volunteers are all amazing people.  They all truly live by the verse found in John 13:34, "a new commandment I give you: love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another."  In a group of 40 people, there are people from North Carolina, Indiana, Arizona, Alaska, Oregon, Washington, and California.  They all came on their own dime to give of their time.  Some are staying the entire time SP is there.  You know what?  Most of them are retirees.  Suzan rode in my car for two days.  I am not sure how old she is since I am not suppose to ask.  But she told me that her son is going to retire in a few years.  Assuming her son is retiring early, the youngest she can be is in her 70's... most likely older.  She also had a minor heart attack not too long ago.  She is out there shoveling, dumping things out of a wheel barrow, and pushing them.  Every time we set up and clean up, she is there doing the work.  At the hilly site, she pushed the wheel barrow up 80% of the hill.  I kept asking her if I can do it because I didn't want her to injure herself.  She finally let me and I could not push the remaining distant because it was too steep.  Then her husband who is older than her and also had a minor heart attack not long ago and still on medication, pushed it the remaining way.  Needless to say, I feel sooo embarrassed that a young person like me can't beat her.  I have to seriously hit the gym.  I am inspired to be like them when I grow up.  :)

This is how Jesus called Christians to live: to love God and love people, not only with words, but in action and in truth.  SP's goal is not to just provide labor, but to meet people's physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.  SP brings in chaplains to talk to each homeowner and to help them process their grief and give them hope.  Volunteers are strongly encouraged to first listen to homeowners' stories because every time they talk about it, it helps them process the tragedy.  Homeowners are very touched and surprised that volunteers come so far to help.  Sometimes loving people means inconveniencing ourselves or sacrificing our own want or comfort for the sake of others.  What a privilege it is to show love to those who are hurting.

A Desperate Plea for My Boy

There seems to constantly be bad news about C's teeth.  We started his orthodontic journey two years ago and till this day, there is no end in sight.  In fact, it got worst.  I couldn't sleep for the past few days and got up at 3 am this morning.  

On Saturday, H took C to see the Endodontist recommended by Harry regarding his permanent tooth that has been loose for over a year now.  It turned out that his own body has been attacking that tooth and causing the root to erode away.  Apparently, there was trama to that tooth.  It was either from the side way canine or the many oral surgeries that he had, of course, doctors don’t want to tell us so they won’t be liable.  We waited for so long after the surgery for the tooth to stabilize and it didn’t.  But in the mean time it is eroding away.  The orthodontist doesn’t know how to move forward with his treatment at this point since she can’t use the front teeth as anchor to pull the jaw out.  Then, she thought that she can push the jaw back.  However, if this is done, he will have lots of spaces that need implants, which can’t be done until he is 18.  She originally took out some teeth in the front so she can pull everything forward.  It seemed like taking C to the orthodontist is causing more harm than good.  My lack of judgement and not speak up more for him has brought this onto him and cause him to suffer unnecessarily. The Endodontist's plan is to give him a root canal and inject calcium something into the root to stop the erosion and hopefully promote bone growth.  Will this save his tooth?  She can't promise.  Will it be strong enough for the Orthodontist to continue treatment?  She doesn't know.  But this is the only thing she can think of to do.  So now all orthodontic work will cease until further result from the Endodontist.   How will we finish his oral treatment? No one knows.  I feel so hopeless.  One thing I am thankful for is that his issues are not life threatening.  

On my morning run is past Sunday, I was so emotional that I couldn't run much due to all the crying. I said to God, "I prayed the very first time C had surgery and every time after that.  How come you didn't hear me?"  I went to church feeling emotional and burdened.  H led worship that day. Not knowing that I was distraught, he started out saying, "Sometimes we treat God like a Santa Claus, we expect Him to bring us gifts.  If He is not going to answer our prayers from this day forward, would we still love Him and worship Him?"  Tears streamed down my face, thankfully no one saw me, and I knew that I have no right to expect anything from God.  He already gave me the ultimate gift of His Son.  Jesus died on the cross for me and brought me unconditional love and acceptance from my heavenly Father.  What right do I have to demand anything?  In fact, I owe Him everything.  Yes, He is still worthy of my all.  But I begged that He would step in to help C. Even though, I shouldn't have spoken to God that way, He forgave me, sympathized with my pain, and offered me comfort.  It felt as if He spoke to me and me alone.

At the beginning of last week, I was working on Sunday School homework in the book called Women of Simplicity.  There was an exercise to find verses that would keep us grounding in God’s word and truth.  Somehow, I stumbled across Exodus 14:14.  So I tucked this verse away. At Sunday School, I forgot to bring my book, but we went around sharing those verses that we found, of all the verses, this verse came up in my mind.  When I read it that day, it seems as if God used it to speak to me.  Exodus 14:13-14 says “Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”  Moses was leading the Israelites out of Egypt and in front of them was the Red Sea and behind them the Egyptian army in pursue.  They had no where to go.  God fought for them and opened up a way.  I felt so comforted by this verse.  Although I don't know what else to do, God will fight for C and lead me.  He knew I needed this verse today, so He gave it to me in advance.  He is so good. 

I am writing to ask you all, who are my prayer partners and faithful friends, to pray for C with me.  Please pray that the root canal method will stabilize his tooth and make it strong.  Also that the Orthodontist would be able to complete her work of pulling his teeth and jaw forward or whatever method that will cause the least amount of discomfort and also preserve his good teeth.  I believe God can still work miracles even though the situation may not be so bright.  Just like when Lazarus was sick, Jesus could have said a word and healed him.  But He didn't and waited until Lazarus died before He went to save him.  Because raising the dead was a miracle that only God can perform.  That act not only saved Lazarus, but it also showed His power.  If his tooth healed on its own, the doctors would say that the body healed itself.  If God heals him now, it is a work of a miracle.  May God be glorified and His power shine through in C's journey. 

First Half Marathon

Life has been so hectic that I forgot to document this event.  I am so proud that I was able to accomplish such a long run.  I've heard that did it, but never thought that I could.  I went from not being able to run a block to running 13.1 miles.  Every mile was a blessing from the Lord, but it is not without hard work and dedication.  Craving out time to run 4 - 5 times a week for training is not easy, especially trying to juggle the kids and their activities.  Sometimes I have to get up at 4:30 am to run, much like athletes who are dedicated to their sport.   The discipline is so good for me, it motivates me to be more discipline in other areas of my life.  But more importantly, the endorphins keep me positive.  I am not as pessimistic and I do not hold on to my frustration as long.  I think I might be addicted to the positive feeling that I get from running and exercising. It's been a year since I've consistently exercise for at least 4 times a week, it's become such an integral part of me now.
After this race, I am more motivated to run.  I am tempted to run a marathon, but just fearful of the time commitment.  Now that I know how far I am push my body, I can try to run a bit faster.

A lot of people asked me how I got started and how I am able to make such a drastic change.  Since not many people see my small changes, people thinks that I had a drastic change overnight.  Changes that I made were not so drastic, it's the little changes that add together to become a life changing thing.  At the beginning in October 2012, I just decided to eat better and cut out carb and sugar for a week.  After a week, I decided to do two weeks.  When I got good weight lost result, 8 pounds in two weeks, I was motivated to keep on making good food choices.  Then, in December, after all the holiday eating, I felt like I needed to exercise.  So I started with Zumba because I love dancing.  After a few months, I no longer get a good sweat out of Zumba.  So I tried Body Compat and Body Pump at 24 hrs Fitness.  I LOVED IT!  It lets me get all my frustration and aggression out.  After my work out, I felt like a new person. That's when I started to love the positive feeling that endorphins caused.  Which then, leads me to work out 5 days a week.  After I reached my first weight loss goal of 30 pounds, I was more motivated to exercise because I still wanted to lose more weight, but my body was slowing down.  I knew I needed to add variety to my exercise routine.  One day, I decided to try the treadmill, a machine that I don't particularly like.  But I tell myself that I will use it for 20 mins.  After 20 mins, I felt great, so I continued for another 10 mins.  That day I ran 2.5 miles.  Then, I set a goal to run 5K.  I took myself to Lake Merritt and ran the entire lake.  The first time was tough because afterward I was a bit dizzy.  But that showed me that I can do more.  As I ran more, the more ambitious I got and set higher and higher goals. That's how I started on my healthier lifestyle.  It's the little choices that I made that lead me to this.  BUT more importantly, it's the divine intervention of Jesus that I am able to be so disciplined because I am not a discipline person.  It's the events and situations that came together as a part of His plan that I am able to make small changes.  In October 2012, my work caused me deep emotional distress that made me depressed and started to affect the family. God knew that I needed the release and the positive mind set.  I was depressed because I felt defeated like a failure.  God reminded me that I wasn't who the manager claimed that I was and through exercising, I found my strength, both physically and spiritually.  Exercising changed my life and saved my sanity.  Also, God knew that I needed a friend to keep me going, so he brought me a running partner who has the same drive and ability.  All this was in His plan. 

My 14 Miles Run

I can't believe that I actually did 14 miles.  That took 2.5 hrs of straight running.  That's the distance of a half marathon.  Some people who trains for the half marathon don't actually run 13 miles until the day of the race.  But I just wanted to make sure that I can run the whole length.

The path had little shades and it was hot.  I had a pretty tough time running it actually.  I have been training for it, but for some reason, after 9 miles, I lost motivation.  I just didn't want to do it.  So from 9 -14 miles, I just made myself.  I kept telling myself to finish the race and not give up.  I prayed for God's strength.  When I ran 11 miles last week I felt great and didn't have much trouble.  Perhaps I didn't load up on carb and water adequately this time.  Boy, I sure hope that on the actual race that I can make it till the end without having to walk it.

I am thankful that I had a friend to run with. Without her, I would have given up.  I guess we both didn't want to let each other down and give up prematurely.  I am also thankful that my knees were able to withstand all that running.  

God's Gentle Reminder

As soon as the New Year began, work just took off.  Trying to still work out and run amidst my work schedule is leaving me with no time to blog or watch TV.  But I had to blog about this since it's indeed God's way of reminding me to stay on the path. 

I had a touching conversation with J, boy #2 tonight on the drive home just he and I. 
J: I am going to make you a rubber band bracelet, what color would you like?
Me: Purple, why are you making me one?  It's not my birthday or Mother's day.
J:  Because you are my beloved Mama and I love spending time with you.  (Awww!)
Me: Oh, I love you too.  How did you know how to use the word "beloved"?
J: I read it in a book.  Do you love me more now or when I was a baby?
Me:  I love you the same because you are my beloved J.  But I do miss the time when you were a chubby baby.  I love cuddling with you and sleep.  And I loved it when you tried to kiss me but didn't know how so you ended up eating my chin instead. 
J: I don't want to leave home to go to college because I don't want to leave you. 
Me:  You need to go to college.  You will love it because you get to spend lots of time with your friends and learn new things. 
J:  I can spend time with my friends in the day time and come home at night.  I don't want to leave my family. 

WOW!  That touched my heart in such a deep way.  I know that will change when he is a teen, but I am thankful for his heart now.  With all the mistakes that I made and the yelling that I did, I can't believe he still values his time with me. 

Recently, recruiters have been contacting me about job opportunities.  I went on some interviews, but of course they are looking for full time employee.  There is a job that's perfect for me.  Good pay, great industry, and with potential upward possibility.  It's just what my career needs.  They also like me.  So if I am willing to work full time, the job is mine.  But I turned them down and offer to work 80-85% of the work week.  That's the most I've work since C was born.  Of course, they don't want that.  So I didn't get it.  I don't know about other moms, but I've always been thorn between career and family.  I am an ambitious person, I want to achieve more.  But I also want to give my kids my time and attention.  Turning down good jobs are hard for me no matter how many times I did it.  Each time is hard and each time I have to remind myself that home is where God calls me to be.  It's where I should channel my energy.  Sometimes I also wonder, is my sacrifice making a difference?  Or did I do it for nothing?  I wasn't sure of the benefit, but I am sure that's what God wants me to do.  So I keep looking for a part time job because I know He will provide.  Tonight, God used J to remind me that I am making a difference.  My sacrifice is well worth it because J values my time with him.  I will continue to seek for jobs that fits into the family's schedule and priority.  Thank you Lord for reminding me to stay true to what You've called me to and You will take care of the rest.

The Benefit of Memorizing Verses

Christmas is such a crazy time of the year.  I love celebrating the birth of Christ, but there are so many things to do, gifts to buy, cookies to bake, and people to appreciate.  No matter how busy, I normally like to keep our Christmas traditions.  So that when the kids are grown, they can think back to the time they were at home and the things we did together to celebrate and honor the birth of our Savior.  I also want them to appreciate the true meaning of Christmas and to think beyond to the gifts to the Giver of all gifts.

One thing we do leading up to Christmas is a similar version of the Advent calendar.  I use this book The Advent Jesse Tree.  It has 25 devotions, one for each day in December.  It starts with creation and includes significant stories from Old Testament, pointing to and prophesizing of the Savior, to the birth of Christ.  And it also suggest an ornament to go along with each devotion.  We have been doing this for 4 years now.  Prior to starting, I have collected and made ornaments for these devotions.  So every night in December, we read a devotion and talked about it's role in God's plan for the human race.  Then the kids, guess which ornament goes with that devotion and get to put it on the tree.  The boys loved guessing and K have started to like digging through my box of special ornaments too.  If I don't like a certain ornament, the boys would keep an eye out for it through out the year or even help make me another one.  Sometime life gets hectic and we skip a devotion or two, but the boys would always want to make it up.

Today's devotion was about Isaiah the prophet foretold that God would send a Savior to the world.  He is the Prince of Peace which one day will bring us lasting peace.  The verse to read was Isaiah 9:6-7.  I started to reach for the Bible and turn to Isaiah, but J and then later C, started reciting the the verse to me.
For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
They said it's a verse they learned in Awana.  I thought they just memorized it quickly for the prize, I didn't think they actually can recall it based on the reference.  WOW! I was so impressed.  They memorized more verses than me now.  I am so thankful that they are hiding God's word in their heart.  I pray that God would use those verses in their heart and mind to help them in the future and draw them closer to Himself.

My First 10K Race

I can't believe I actually ran a race today.  Just back in July, I didn't like running.  I started to exercise in January of 2013 and began to really love it.  I love reaching new heights physically and feeling good about myself.  Endorphins really kept me positive and up beat, so I wanted to be more and more active.  So I decided to run.  After I ran around Lake Merritt in Oakland and actually liked it.  I was hooked on running.  Don't get me wrong, I still have days where I don't want to run and much prefer to stay in bed.  But I push myself and ended up loving it.  So thankful that I found a group of moms at the boys' school to run with every Sunday.  They keep me going.  I am a slow and steady runner, I want to be able to finish every race.  In a normal week, I tried to run 4 -5 miles 2 - 3 times and I don't have any problem doing it.  But today, perhaps all the food from Thanksgiving.  I had a hard time starting the race.  And the last miles was tough with inclines.  I had to keep my eyes on the finish line to keep myself motivated.  I feel like it was a big accomplishment.  Part of me want to train for the half marathon in 2014, but part of me is fearful of it.  If my body is able to keep up, I am willing to try.

  

Florida Trip

We have been so busy preparing for our Florida trip and then, after that, caught up with holiday stuff that I didn't properly document our trip.  What a blessing it was for us to be at World Disney World. We couldn't have gone if it wasn't for H's work, who paid for some of the trip.  It was such a great trip that the boys still talk about it and wants to go back.

Bird Show

First day Animal Kingdom.  The boys favorite part was the bird show, where birds flew all around us doing tricks.  Safari was great!  We got to see animals in its habitat with out constrains.  At the end of the day, we saw the Lion King show.  It was a live musical with acrobatic monkeys doing tricks on ropes, like in the circus.

The fearless girl.

Day 2, Hollywood Studio.  This place was all about shows and more shows.  The boys wanted to sign up to be in the live Jedi show and the Toy Story ride.  But both were full and no more fastpast by 9:30am.  Keep in mind that the park opens at 9 am.  We were there at 9:30am and no luck for those, so they were disappointed. But the boys rode on the Star War ride multiple times, so WDW have many themes for that ride.  The boys favorite show is the Light, Motor, Action, car stunt show.  They learned how Hollywood shoot car chase scene.  They even showed us a car with steering wheel facing the back so that it would seems like the car is going backward, but it's really going forward.  We even saw a car that split in half and came back together.  K had a hard time with all the shows because she doesn't like loud sound in the darkness.  Since most shows have both, she didn't like that one bit. 

 

Day 3, Magic Kingdom.  This park was all about rides.  All the kids were so tired from the previous two days that we moved really really slowly this day.  Went on the Buzz Light Year ride, drove their own car, Pirate of the Carribean, Jungle Cruise, Space Mountain, and Big Thumder Railroad.  Of course we stayed to see Fantasmic, which was a little scary for the kids, especially K, because of the music.

Have to get a pic with Mickey to prove that we were there.

Day 4, Blizzard Beach.  The day was not a perfect day for water park, the sun wasn't out.  But since the temperature is still in the low 80s, we went anyways.  The park had tons of water slides; most of them do not have a height limit, but some do since it's high.  There was a beach like area and an area for little kids.  K didn't like the big water slides, but the smaller one she loves.  The boys loved it so much that they said they like it better than the other Disney park.  Later that day we drove to Club Med Sandpiper Bay.

Water slide race.  Of course the heaviest wins.

Day 5, we just lounged around because J got sick and vomited 5 times. 

Day 6, everyone else, beside K, started to have stomach problem.  So again we didn't do anything except walking around and watching their show.  Club Med had sooo much good food and such varieties and it's all included.  But none of us can eat much of it.

Day 7, we started to feel better so we went swimming and H tried the trapeze, hoping to inspire the boys to try it.  Trapeze is the popular activity at Club Med.  H swinged down fine, but not flexible enough to get his legs onto the bar to hang upside down.  He was so nervous the whole time, but braved it for the boys. 

Noticed his leg curved up.  What he does when he is nervous.

C is great at the monkey bar, so he had no problem.

Day 8, the boys finally had enough courage to go on the trapeze.  I was so proud of them.  It was pretty high up.  Although there were harness, it was still pretty scary.  It was the opportunity to show them that it was safe and being brave doesn't mean not being scare, but moving forward despite fear.  They did it and did it beautifully.  I knew they could.  J even said that it was just a little scary and that it was fun. I tried the trapeze. I got up fine, swinging fine, and getting my legs up the bar to hang upside down fine.  But when I was told to let go and just hang by my legs, I got nervous.  I just didn't trust that my legs can hang on and I didn't want to all on my head.  The trainer kept telling me to let go and eventually I did.  So exhilarating. 

Day 9, H and I sent the kids off the kids' club so we have a day to ourselves.  The boys were opposed to being apart from us cause they just want to hang out as a family.  But we explained to them that Mommy and Daddy needs time to ourselves.  But of course K, being an extrovert, loved meeting people and being with strangers.  I tried the trapeze again and it did it better.  So much fun.

Day 10, we drove back to Orlando.  We booked a hotel with an attached water park called Cocoa Beach since the kids loved water slides so much.  I can't believe that the boys went really tall water slides by themselves.  Even the ones that dropped them straight down.  K loved the ones that's her size.  At night, we visited our friends, the Laus, and had dinner with them and a popular BBQ place.  Such good food. 

Day 11, we flew home.  Follow this link for more pictures.

What a wonderful trip!

Counting My Blessings Finale

I had to take a break from blogging to get ready for all church camp.  Now back to counting my blessings.

11. Getting my CPA license was a journey of trust, faith, & reliance on the Lord.  I was never a good test taker.  And to have to sit two full days for the exam was gruesome.  Most of my EY co-workers passed it during their first try, but it took me 4 tries.  I can only take it once a year, so 4 tries means almost 4 years.  The battle of perseverance was long and hard and many times I wanted to quit, but I knew God wanted to me to continue.  When I felt prepared, I ended up failing.  The time I passed was when I felt least prepared and was 6 months pregnant with C.  I had to rest and go to the bathroom so many times that it took time away from my exam.  But yet, I still passed.  God showed me that my accomplishment is not by my own wisdom or strength, but by His power and grace. 

12. God richly blessed us with our house.  We started with a 1000 sq ft house in SL and upgraded to this almost 2600 sq ft house in CV.  With me working part time since C was born, we were not able to save very much.  Yet through increased equity, we are able to upgrade.  With the housing bubble bursting, our mortgage was never under water.  In a period where some people lost their home due to foreclosure, we were able to upgrade.  This is only because of His blessing.

13.  My richest blessing was the birth of the boys.  Both were born healthy and without complication.  Although I had to push for over 2 hours for C without epidural, it's much shorter than some other story.  We had a hard time with C because he was not feeding well and I was inexperienced.  We literally got on our knees, lifted him up, and prayed for God's mercy and guidance.  He grew fine despite eating only 5 oz of milk a day for weeks as an infant.  When J was born, he was an extremely good baby.  Ate well and slept well.  God knew that I can't handle another tough one.

14.  Many of you have heard our adoption story which included so many miracles and blessings.  We were given a healthy girl (only with minor heart problem) and she had every few attachment issues when we got her.  When we didn't have the remaining adoption fee and had plans to max out all our credit cards, friends and families provided the funds that we needed.  The adoption process and transition in China was smooth and safe, something we were concerned about when we contemplated whether or not to bring the boys.  It turned out to be a great experience for everyone. 

15.  Ever since I had kids, God always provided jobs that were flexible and fits into our family's schedule.  It's important for me to be involve in my kids' school and to know their teachers and friends.  I wanted to help them develop socially.  And I wanted to be home with them as much as I can.  My jobs allowed me to do this so far.  When the supposedly "good job" made me miserable, I didn't want to quit because I fear that I can't get another one just as flexible.  Then, God brought me another.  Although this new job pays almost 30% less, it's a blessing that I can bring home a paycheck. God never promised that He will make me rich, but will He always take care of my needs.

16.   Another big miracle and blessing is that I can see that God is changing me and giving me the desire to know and draw closer to Him.  He is changing me both physically and spiritually.  Physically, I have lost over 30 pounds and my lifestyle have changed completely (180 degree).  I used to dread exercising and particularly running.  But now, I exercise 5 times a week and looks forward to it.  Some days I exercise at 6 am.  Before, I can't even run a block, but now I can run 5 miles at a time.  I have even signed up for a 10K in November.  I love the high feeling I get after a run and the accomplishment I get when I am able to lift more weight than what I'm used to.  Even H said that I am completely different, when I tell him my goals for running, he would say, "Who are you?"  Spiritually, God is reaching out to me where I am.  Although I am sinful and broken, He is gentle and patience with me.  When I cry out to Him, He speaks to me.  Before, I am NOT a morning person.  I only wake up 10 mins before the drop dead time that I HAVE to wake up and not a minute more.  Now, I wake up early enough to have time to pray, read God's word, AND make hot breakfast.  Who am I?  I couldn't have change on my own, I have sure tried before.  This change is the work of the Almighty God. 

Counting My Blessing Cont...

As I continue to reflect on all the blessings of my life, it's hard to deny the existent of God and that He has a plan for my life.

5. In my childhood years, God brought many adults, aside from my parents, into my life that actually took an interest in me.  They helped me through difficult situations and mentored me.  Most of them are my high school fellowship sponsor and Sunday School teachers.  And even a non-christian teacher coached me through my awkward teen years.

6. God kept me safe through out all my years in Oakland public school.  In Jr High, when Chinese kids were getting beat up on buses for just being Asian, I was spared.  In high school, a cherry bomb exposed 3 feet in front of me and I graduated without a scratch.

7. In my high school years, I went through a defiance and disobedience stage in life where I didn't want to listen to the wise words of my parents and chose to be the "bad girl". Through that period, God kept me from myself, protected me from harm, and prevented me from getting life threatening diseases.

8. I was the first in my family to go to college, so I had no idea how to prep for that.  I didn't visit any school or talk to anyone about colleges.  But for some reason, I knew that I wanted to go to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.  Perhaps they had a good architectural program that I might be interested in, but in honesty, I wasn't that into architecture after interning at an architecture firm for a few summer.  I was accepted and was all set to go away to San Luis Obispo.  The summer before my freshman year, the doctor told my mom that she needed a hysterectomy due to her tumor.  The surgery was not life threatening, but it will take her about 6 months of recover before she can lift heavy things.  At the time, my family owned a donut shop which required her to lift heavy things and bake and stand on her feet.  When she cannot work, I am her substitute.  The surgery was suppose to be in May, but was pushed back to end of August.  But I was suppose to start college in September.  So that means I may not be able to go since my mom won't be completely recovered.  To make a long story short, God blessed my mom with a really quick recovery that even the doctor was surprised.  Within 3 months she was already working at the store and my aunts in NY came over to help out so I can go to college like I planned.  To me this was a miracle.

9. College was a life transforming time for me.  It was there that I finally chose to live for Christ and started to grow as a Christian.  In my college fellowship, I grew closer to God, learned how to serve Him, and went on missions to learn how to evangelize.  Also, it was there that I met my life partner and mate, H Mak.  I had an awesome college experience and loved it.  Notice I didn't mention anything about my field of study.  Although I did well, the education was not the highlight.

10.  As business student with a concentration in accounting who wants to be in tax, getting a job with one of the Big 5 accounting firm, at the time, was a BIG deal.  Everybody wants it.  But from talking to people and career counselors, big companies usually go for the well rounded student with good grades, lots of extra curricular activities, outgoing and fun personality, and someone who knows how to network and build relationships.  I have the grades and that's about it.  I got through the first round of interview with most big companies.  But during the second round of interview with EY, I did soooo poorly.  I probably said something not so PC.  Then, I ended up leaving a voice mail for the recruiter explaining what I said.  Then, I called back again explaining why I left the first message.  THEN, I called back again explaining my second message.  AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! How stupid was that?!  Even through all that, I got the most coveted job, to start my career at E&Y.  This is all because God wanted me there, definitely not because of my ability or merit. 

More to come next time...

My Birthday Blessing

I am officially in my late 30s.  Wow, where did the time go?  I feel like I am still in my twenties.  I hope I feel like this for a long time.  I woke up early being excited for the day and to spend my most precious morning time thanking God for making me.  Some day, I get discouraged that I have so many things to work on and that I am not good enough as a wife, mother, and even friend.  But recently, God reminded me of how much He loves me and how far I have come.  I am different and better than who I was a year ago.  So I took the time to reflect on my own life and the abundant blessing that God, through Jesus Christ, poured out on me.  I thought back from my childhood till now.  There will be too many blessing to be included in one blog, so I will write a few continuation blog entries.

1. I basically grew up at church, but my parents are not believer.  So how is that possible?  When I was 6 or 7 years old, my parents would drop me off at church every Sunday in Vietnam.  And then when I got the the States, Chinese Bible Church came to pick me up.  Perhaps my mom thought that I will learn to be good at church.

2. I was born at the end of the Vietnam war.  My mom and grandparents worked for the American army at the time.  So when the American pulled out of Vietnam, the Vietcong tried to capture all those that aided the American.  So thankful that God kept my family safe and under the radar.

3. Coming to the US was another huge blessing.  Normally, foreigner can apply to come to US if they have family here.  We do not.  But we heard that the American government will allow us in if we can prove that we worked for them during the Vietnam war.  Thankfully, my family saved the paper work despite the risk that we might be caught by the Vietcong.  Being in the US opened up a world of possibilities for me and my sister that otherwise we wouldn't have.  We are both richly educated, me with a master and she as a lawyer.  And we escape the poverty of the third world.  I am grateful that my parents chose to leave their country and family to come here.

4. It was a blessing that my family came to Oakland.  When immigrating from Vietnam, we could have been sent anywhere in the US.  But since my parents had a few friends in CA, we requested to come to CA.  Oakland has lots of Asian which allowed my family to get jobs even though they didn't know much English.  And if we ended up somewhere with few or no Asian, I am not sure I would end up going to church.

 

My First Run

I can't believe that I did my first run around Lake Merritt.  It's about 3.4 miles in circumference, so it's about 5K.  When my sister started training for her marathon, she kept asking me to run with her, but I wouldn't because I don't like running.  I can't even last a few blocks without stopping.  Yes, I was that bad and my sister and friends who tried to run with me knew it.  So when I started to exercise, I wanted to stay away from running.  I can do anything but run.  So I did Zumba, U-Jam, BodyCombat (like boxing), and weight lifting.  After a few months of weight lifting, I can feel that I am stronger and that I am in better shape.  So I tried to run on the treadmill, I didn't like it so I ran for 5 mins and then walk for 5 mins and so on for a short time.  One day, I decided to just run and see how long I can last.  When I wanted to stop, I kept telling myself a few minutes more.  It turned out that day I ran for 25 mins on the treadmill and covered 2 miles.  So the next goal should be a 5K.  Since the boys are at summer camp and K is at preschool, today was the perfect opportunity to try to reach my goal.

I have to say, it was quite hard.  I did it at about 9am, but the weather was hot already.  At less than half a mile, I really wanted to just walk.  That would still be a good exercise to just walk around the lake.  But NO, my goal was to run.  So I pressed on.  Then, I got really thirsty.  I didn't bring water because I wanted my hands free.  I was huffing and puffing, but I turned my iphone on louder to allow worship songs to motivate me.  So I pressed on.  Then, I saw that if I run the last part on the street, I would get to my car sooner.  But no, I need to run the inner circumference of the lake to be able to say that I ran the whole lake.  So again I pressed on.  At the end when I knew that I was close to my car, I gave it all that I got to run faster and to finish strong.  When I got there, I felt like I have conquered the world.  My perseverance paid off and I reached my goal.  I did feel alittle light headed and my legs were wobbly, but after drinking water and sitting down, I was fine. 

On the run, I needed strength, so I prayed and thought about God and His plans for my life.  I have personally experienced what Paul, in the Bible, talked about running the race and finishing strong.  I have heard many people, especially runners, say that running is alot like living the Christian life.  And so far, I understood what Paul and everyone said.  But today, I actually experienced it and it became personal.  As I ran, I periodically looked at the spot where I started because that's where I will end.  Thinking about my goal helps me move forward and I know I am closer and closer.  So this is what Paul talks about in Philippians 3:14 "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."  I just had to keep my eyes on the prize and go for the goal.  Then I thought, what's my goal in my Christian life?  Every Christian wants to earn rewards in heaven and hear the Shepherd say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."  I want that more than  anything.  It's a good goal, but that goal seems so far away.  It's like me setting my goal to run a marathon before this run.  It seems so far and hard to reach.  The goal of running the lake is more reachable, so I realized that while I desire to hear my Shepherd's I praise, I need to set short reachable goals for my spiritual life.  That way, I know I am moving forward and that I have accomplished something for the Kingdom.  

Another lesson I learned is that every Christian should judge themselves by their own walk and deeds and not compare ourselves to others.  I have to admit that I often compare myself to others, especially to those who have a strong walk with the Lord.  I would feel discouraged that I am not as patience, kind, compassionate, and gentle as the other person.  And that leads to feeling in adequate when I serve.  But today, I realized that each Christian have a their own race to run and each race is different.  There should be no comparison, it's like comparing apples to oranges.  As I ran, there are a lot of people who are also running.  Most ran faster than me.  Some might have more training or are in better shape than me.  So I didn't want to run fast like they are.  I am just glad that they are running like me.  I just want to run at a pace that I can finish and all I wanted was to finish the lake.  In the same way, everyone has their own Christian race.  Some might have more training coming from Christian home or some have stronger network, but each of us should focus on our own race.  Hebrews 12:1 says, "And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us..."  We should run the race that marked out for us and not the one marked for someone else.  When we run someone else's race, we will surely fail and not reach our goal. 

Our Impromtu Trip to LA

Ferris Wheel at Knotts Berry Farm

The good news is that I got a job offer to work part time at a small CPA firm in Walnut Creek.  The bad news is that we can't take vacation this summer since July - Sept are busy season at my new work place.  So as soon as I accepted the offer, H and I decided to take the kids on a short vacation during Memorial day weekend.  The easiest place to go at a last minute notice was LA, so we took the kids to Knotts Berry Farm and California Science Center.  We pulled the kids out of school on Friday (yeah, so unlike us) and drove down to LA.  We first stopped by Griffith Observatory to let the kids learn about space and see and touch telescopes.  The next day, we spent the whole day at Knott's Berry Farm.  The place wasn't big, but lines were long.  Of course we didn't go on the level 5 scary rides, but even so, we didn't hit everything.  But we did go to the new part of the park and the roller coaster ride called Coast Rider was the boys' favorite. 

Mui was the only one who wants a picture with Snoopy.

On Sunday, we went to California Science Center, home of the spaceship Endeavour.  We love hands on science museum because C loves science and wants to know how things work.  Even in the bay area, we have annual membership to SJ children museum.  Since we're in LA, of course, we cannot miss the opportunity to see Endeavor and the largest science museum in CA.  The place is humogous with 4 stories of hands on fun.  There are also many discovery centers on every floor for babies and toddlers.  You can learn about plants, space, human body, and anything science related.  The biggest attraction is the spaceship.  When NASA brought the spaceship to this Science Center, the boys saw it flew across their school.  Now they are excited to see it up close.  It was very interesting to learn about space and what the astronaunts did there.  We even saw the space potty and learned how astronaunts use it in zero gravity.  The ship itself is magnificent, it's huge and grand.  I can't believe human is capable of creating such ingenious machine.  If we, mere mortal, can be this smart, then, God, our creator, is capable of so much more.  We weren't allow to go inside the ship, but currently there are plans to build a Samuel Oschin Air and Space Center next to the Science Center to place the spaceship vertically as if it was ready to be launched.  The new building will be many many stories tall so that the spaceship can be viewed from many levels.  It is anticipated to open in 2017, I can't wait to see it.  The Science Center is so big that we can easily spend a whole day there, but the boys really want to see the beach also.  Therefore, we left early and headed for Manhattan beach.  The weather was nice, not too hot or too cold.  The beach is clean with plenty of parking.  There are walking and biking path.  The boys and mui just love playing with water and sand.  Joshie dugged in the sand and found many tiny little sand crabs.  Mui likes to just scoop sand.  They did this for two and a half hour.   I love that the kids had so much fun just being outdoor and getting dirty.  What a blessing to see that they can enjoy the simple things in life and find joy without needing expensive experiences.

See the sand crab in the middle of the shovel?  It was J's mission to find more.

3rd Grade Musical

At Jensen, all the third grade classes put together a musical for parents and the school.  Last year, C saw this play and liked the music.  Since it's his turn to be in the play this year, I asked him if hewants to audition for a part.  He said no.  Every 3rd grader is automatically in the chorus and since he doesn't like to be in the spot light, he doens't want to audition.  And he didn't want to give up lunch recess for rehearsal.  H and I encouraged him to audition because he likes singing and we think he will do a good job.  Being a part of the musical will be more fun than just singing back up.  We also wanted him to be involve in school and be an active participant, not just sit back and watch others.  After some convincing he decided that he will audition.  To audition, he has to sing solo to all the 3rd grade teachers.  C chose three parts that he would like to audition for.  We didn't think he will get a part because he is so quite, but we just want him to try and participate.  Low and behold, everyone who tried out got a part. He got the part of an ant in the Rumpus in the Rainforest.  Even though it took alot of time from recess to be in rehearsel, he told us that really likes being in the musical and it was fun.  Here is a little clip of the musical.  For kids who are out going or not so shy, trying out for something and performing might not be a big deal.  But for someone who is shy and does not like the spot light, this is a big deal that he stepped out of his comfort zone to experience something different.  It takes a lot of courage, boldness, and faith.  We are just so proud of him.  We hope that this will be the first of many courageous steps that he will take as he grows.

Wedding Anniversary and Mother's Day

Today H and I celebrated our 12th anniversary.  Believe it or not we got married back in the days when digital photo was not very common.  Those camera was still quite expensive.  So ALL our pictures are in 35mm film.  On top of that, we got a really really bad photographer.  H and I paid for our own wedding and I only started working for a few months.  So our budget was limited.  Correction, extremely limited.  The photographer had a good portfolio, but when he did our pix, they were terrible.  Pictures were dark and when he did use flash, it caused shadows.  So not sure how his portfolio was so nice, perhaps not his work.   The picture above is so many time better that my wedding pix.  That is my biggest regret for the wedding.  I have always wished that we had better wedding photos.  Ours is so terrible that I am ashame to show them.  And since they were not digital, there is no way to fix them.  Oh how I wish we can retake those pictures.

Perhaps now we can.  I can fit back into my wedding gown and all my wedding day dresses again.  I really do love my wedding dress.  My mother made it for me from my own design.  She puts all the design and sequence on by hand.  I love the details, the fit, and the length.  It's hard to see all the details from the above pictures.  She made the three flowers on the back, cut the lace in the design that I wanted and sew it on by hand, and she wrapped each button on the back with the same fabric as my dress.  I was born with a wide shoulder, so I never liked wearing strapless or spagetti strap dresses.  So I designed this dress to hide my flaws.  My mom also made all the bridesmaid's dresses and flower girls' and ring bearers' outfit.  On the back of my bridesmaid dresses are flowers just like mine and loops to hold their shaws. I liked my bridesmaid dresses so much that I asked my mom to make me one too.  Not sure if I told her, but I loved all the dresses she made for my wedding.  I had 4 dresses that day.  I wish I had some place to wear those gorgeous dresses to.

So on this Mother's Day, I want to tell my Mom that I appreciate all that she do/did for me.  Thank you for making me clothes, cooking for us when I am busy, taking care of my kids so I can have a break, and being a great example of patience and kindness.

Reached My Goal Weight

Me before weight loss.  I can't find a full body picture because I hated taking pix.

Me minus 30 pounds.

After 5 months of low carb eating, I have finally reached my goal of losing 30 pounds, that's about 22% of my weight.  I went from a size 8 to a size zero.  I feel great and have tons of energy.  I work out, cook, bake and take care of the kids and I am not tired at the end of the day.  In fact, I can keep going like the energizer bunny.  Just sometimes, I am emotionally drained since I'm with Mui all the time. 

I am amazed at how I was able to be disciplined and had self control.  In fact, that's not like me at all. I have tried other diets before, like South Beach and Cabbage Soup, and it didn't work for me.  I failed on those diets because I didn't have the discipline to go through with it.  Usually after about a couple of weeks, I give up.  And my failure is partly due to my love for bread of all kinds, cupcakes, and chips.  I usually endulge myself with a bag of chip after I put the kids to sleep because that's how I recooperate from all the events of the day.  So I don't know exactly how I just kicked those habits one day.  To me it's a miracle.  It's the work of my Lord Jesus Christ.  He deserves to be praised for this miracle. 

As I look back at these past months, I see that the Lord orchestrated things to happen so that I'll relinguish control and allow Him to help me physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  As much as I didn't want to give up my paycheck, I know God was leading me to quit my job because it was causing emotional harm to me and my family.  I didn't know how to handle all the emotions and negativities, so I did the only thing that I knew how and that was to just spend alittle time with my Creator.  In my most painful and stressful times, the Lord reminded me that I need to focus on myself and be renewed.  So I have to learn to take care of me.  That sounds like such a simple thing, how can anyone not know how to take care of oneself?  I spend a lot of time taking care of my kids, my work, and even ministry that I have neglected myself.  I failed that those other diets because I didn't want to spend time to make special food for me.  When my kids were little, I make them homemade baby food and pack it with me wherever we go.  When they were toddler, I make soft toddler food.  To this day, I make sure that feed them a balanced meal and I bring them fruits, snacks and water wherever we go.  It's important to me that I take good care of my kids, but some how I don't do the same for me.  Perhaps, I didn't think that I was worth the trouble.  God showed me that neglecting myself affects every part of my being.  To be restored emotionally, I first need to be physically healthy.  The self help books that I read and research that I did all pointed out that physical health and exercise will help improve mental health.  Exercise not only keeps the body healthy, but makes the body releases endorphins which is a brain chemical that gives energy and lift up a person's mood. 

So it's not that I have a lot of discipline or self-control that I have successfully reached my goal, but it's all because of the power and strength that the Lord has given me.  Indeed, He is my strength when I am weak.  He knew that this is what I need in this period of my life.  With this new body, I have a renewed zest for life,  a greater contentment toward God and His blessings on me, a stronger self-confident that I can tackle other goals (especially spiritual goals), a bigger committment to be a better mom and build strong relationship with my kids, a deeper conviction that I can be a more supportive wife, and a revived desire to learn new things.  Both my sister and H, both commented that they noticed that I am happier lately.  Who knew that I can gain all this from weight lost. 

Busy But Purposeful Weekend

I love the Bay Area Sunday School Convention (BASS) and love learning from people who has been there and done that because they have such wisdom to impart.  My mom once said that exceptional people always learn from other people's success and from failures.

The busyness started on Thursday night when BASS started.  I raced to cook dinner and so that when H returns, he can feed the kids and I head off to hear Chip Ingram.  On Friday morning after getting the kids to school, I headed to a workshop to learn about how to manage strong-willed children in class while H watch Mui-mui.  Then, I rushed home to relieve H so he can attend his workshop in guitar.  After feeding the boys lunch and cooking dinner, I went back to BASS for a workshop regarding anger and forgiveness.  Then, I headed off to the Rock and Worship Roadshow concert while H went to BASS.  Even typing my schedule made me feel tired.  But PTL that He gave me the strength to do everything and had lots of fun.

Saturday was just the same.  I made breakfast while H went to a worship workshop.  After that I baked muffins for IBF and then rushed to attend two more workshops, one of which is How to Provide Counseling to People in Difficult Situation.  Then, I came home to make food for YFC fellowship, then rush off to YFC.

Although this weekend was packed and busy, it was purposeful.  I had an uplifting time singing and worshipping God at BASS service and at the concert.  I also learned alot of tips on how to effectively serve others.  But most of all, I am recharged and challenged to passionately love the God that sacrificed His only Son for my sins.  There were so much information that I think I will need a few weeks to look through, review, think, analyze, and apply. 

Thankful for the Family God has Given Me

Day in and day out, we try to teach our kids how to behave and how to treat each other.  Sometimes, I really think our words do go in one ear and out the other.  But today, God showed me that there is hope and that He is slowly molding my kids.  Today is MLK holiday and H went to work early.  I didn’t set my alarm since there was no school.  The boys woke up at their regular time, got dressed and groomed themselves.  Since I was still sleeping, they helped Mui-mui get dress, go to the potty, and brushed her teeth.  Then, they went downstairs, got out the milk, cereals, bowls, and utensils and started breakfast.  They even poured a bowl for their sister.  When I got up and went to the kitchen, they were already eating.  I went back upstairs to start my morning routine.  By the time I got back, everything was put away and dishes in the sink.  WOW!  I was amazed and surprised.  Who are these kids?  Immediately, the Holy Spirit tells me to give them more positive encouragement and praise.  So I made a big deal and thank them for their help.  Ever since the boys were born, God has impressed upon our hearts to train them up to be a servant leader who loves Him with all their hearts.  This job as trainer and coach is the most important task I have on earth and as a result has caused me to worry and fear that we are not doing a good job.  Today, God showed me that they have the potential and that I just have to keep coaching.  The Lord also showed me that He is also doing the molding and that I am not alone as the coach; I am only the assistant coach. 

 This is my first cake.  Since we are on a budget this year, I thought I would bake my kids their birthday cakes instead of buying.  C and K are both born in February, so it’s a big birthday month for us.  I didn’t want to ruin their cakes, so this is my trial run.  It's yellow cake with strawberry in the middle and whipped cream frosting.  Turned out quite yummy for a first timer.  I just need more practice piping the icing and decorating the cake.  They ate the cake after dinner tonight and everyone had seconds.  Except H, he had thirds.  They loved it.  It’s a great compliment that C ate two pieces since he is not a cake kind of person.  He likes savory things better.  But he loved the whipped cream frosting.  Sitting there watching my family eats since I am still on the diet, I am once again thankful for them and to God for giving them to me.  In the past few months, I have baked apple pie, cookies, breakfast empanadas, French toast casserole, sausage and egg casserole, lemon cake, lemon bars, blueberry muffins, and now birthday cake.  My family ate them and seriously loved them all.  I can’t believe it.  God knew that I love to cook and feed people and He gave me a family that’s willing to eat what I make.  I can't take that for granted because kids can be picky.