First Half Marathon

Life has been so hectic that I forgot to document this event.  I am so proud that I was able to accomplish such a long run.  I've heard that did it, but never thought that I could.  I went from not being able to run a block to running 13.1 miles.  Every mile was a blessing from the Lord, but it is not without hard work and dedication.  Craving out time to run 4 - 5 times a week for training is not easy, especially trying to juggle the kids and their activities.  Sometimes I have to get up at 4:30 am to run, much like athletes who are dedicated to their sport.   The discipline is so good for me, it motivates me to be more discipline in other areas of my life.  But more importantly, the endorphins keep me positive.  I am not as pessimistic and I do not hold on to my frustration as long.  I think I might be addicted to the positive feeling that I get from running and exercising. It's been a year since I've consistently exercise for at least 4 times a week, it's become such an integral part of me now.
After this race, I am more motivated to run.  I am tempted to run a marathon, but just fearful of the time commitment.  Now that I know how far I am push my body, I can try to run a bit faster.

A lot of people asked me how I got started and how I am able to make such a drastic change.  Since not many people see my small changes, people thinks that I had a drastic change overnight.  Changes that I made were not so drastic, it's the little changes that add together to become a life changing thing.  At the beginning in October 2012, I just decided to eat better and cut out carb and sugar for a week.  After a week, I decided to do two weeks.  When I got good weight lost result, 8 pounds in two weeks, I was motivated to keep on making good food choices.  Then, in December, after all the holiday eating, I felt like I needed to exercise.  So I started with Zumba because I love dancing.  After a few months, I no longer get a good sweat out of Zumba.  So I tried Body Compat and Body Pump at 24 hrs Fitness.  I LOVED IT!  It lets me get all my frustration and aggression out.  After my work out, I felt like a new person. That's when I started to love the positive feeling that endorphins caused.  Which then, leads me to work out 5 days a week.  After I reached my first weight loss goal of 30 pounds, I was more motivated to exercise because I still wanted to lose more weight, but my body was slowing down.  I knew I needed to add variety to my exercise routine.  One day, I decided to try the treadmill, a machine that I don't particularly like.  But I tell myself that I will use it for 20 mins.  After 20 mins, I felt great, so I continued for another 10 mins.  That day I ran 2.5 miles.  Then, I set a goal to run 5K.  I took myself to Lake Merritt and ran the entire lake.  The first time was tough because afterward I was a bit dizzy.  But that showed me that I can do more.  As I ran more, the more ambitious I got and set higher and higher goals. That's how I started on my healthier lifestyle.  It's the little choices that I made that lead me to this.  BUT more importantly, it's the divine intervention of Jesus that I am able to be so disciplined because I am not a discipline person.  It's the events and situations that came together as a part of His plan that I am able to make small changes.  In October 2012, my work caused me deep emotional distress that made me depressed and started to affect the family. God knew that I needed the release and the positive mind set.  I was depressed because I felt defeated like a failure.  God reminded me that I wasn't who the manager claimed that I was and through exercising, I found my strength, both physically and spiritually.  Exercising changed my life and saved my sanity.  Also, God knew that I needed a friend to keep me going, so he brought me a running partner who has the same drive and ability.  All this was in His plan. 

My 14 Miles Run

I can't believe that I actually did 14 miles.  That took 2.5 hrs of straight running.  That's the distance of a half marathon.  Some people who trains for the half marathon don't actually run 13 miles until the day of the race.  But I just wanted to make sure that I can run the whole length.

The path had little shades and it was hot.  I had a pretty tough time running it actually.  I have been training for it, but for some reason, after 9 miles, I lost motivation.  I just didn't want to do it.  So from 9 -14 miles, I just made myself.  I kept telling myself to finish the race and not give up.  I prayed for God's strength.  When I ran 11 miles last week I felt great and didn't have much trouble.  Perhaps I didn't load up on carb and water adequately this time.  Boy, I sure hope that on the actual race that I can make it till the end without having to walk it.

I am thankful that I had a friend to run with. Without her, I would have given up.  I guess we both didn't want to let each other down and give up prematurely.  I am also thankful that my knees were able to withstand all that running.  

My Heart Behind My Food

I had a bake-a-thon the week before C's 10th birthday.  I made all the food for his party, baked a Chinese style sponge cake, 24 chocolate butter cream cupcakes, 30+ chocolate covered strawberries for him to celebrate at church, and 36 mini cheesecakes for him to celebrate at school.  Ok that sounds crazy.  WHY did I do it?  Why didn't I just buy all that stuff?  I have to admit, I could have bought the food for the party.  Sometimes I do make things to save money and for the health benefits.   Homemade things can cost more after adding in time and other factors.  As H said, I didn't HAVE to make the cake  and C didn't HAVE to celebrate his birthday at church or at school.  So why did I do that?  Well, that's just who I am and how I show love.  I wanted him to feel special and that I am glad he was born to me.  Not to be cheesy, but I do put my heart and love in all the things that I make for people.  I am more like my parents that I thought I was.  They don't tell me much that they love me.  But when I am sick or need help in some way, they immediately think about what they can cook for me and how they can feed me.  They show their love through their food and I have learned to do the same.  In that sense, I am very Chinese.  I show people that I love them by giving them the best and most valuable thing I can offer.  And that's not money, time is my most valuable thing.  When I cook and bake for people, I am indirectly saying that they are worth my time and effort.  I go the distance for C because he is worth it.  If you have ever come over for dinner, or I brought food to your house, or given you a small treat in some way, it's my way of saying I care and that I love you.  If you didn't get food from me, I am working my way around and you will be next.  Just tell me what you like. 

C's 10 birthday Lego Star War cake.

This sponge cake has been on my have-to-master list.  It's not easy to make especially in the way that I like it; airy, spongy, and strong enough to hold the filling and frosting.  There are sooo many things that can go wrong when making this cake.  Believe me, I've tried many times.  Did you notice the lines on the cake and the white piping?  Finally, this is to my liking.  However, next time I need to put more frosting on the top and side.  Also, need to work on more decorations.

Chinese bakery sponge cake with whipped cream frosting.

C turned 10

Oh wow, how time flies.  C turned 10 today.   I remember he was a tough baby.  He had trouble sleeping and eating.  When most infants sleep, he would always be awake making me so tired.  I remember getting on my knees with H, praying and asking for God's help to care for and raise C.  Look at him now; healthy and thriving.  It's emotional for me mainly because I only have 8 more years with him and I am not sure whether I did a good job this past decade.  If I can turn back time, I would do so many things differently.

Everyone needs someone in their life to believe in them and tell them how precious and valuable they are.  Encouraging words goes a long way.  So I took this opportunity to give C a special blessing.  Here is a blessing from a mother's heart.

C's 10 Years Old Blessing

C, you are my son and I love you with all my heart.  I can’t believe you have now reached double-digits in age and are no longer a little boy.  You are becoming a young man, capable of doing whatever you put your mind to.   You have a smart and inquisitive mind, always asking questions about how things work, and that’s how you can do those slide puzzles in no time at all.  I love your strong sense of right and wrong, and your desire to always choose the right path.  You don't ever have to feel like you are not good enough because God has uniquely gifted you with all that you need to succeed.  He has planned for you to do amazing things with your life.  You will grow up one day to be a leader of integrity who is honest and caring, whom God will use to show His love to the world.  I am very proud that you try your best and persevere in areas where you are weak in.  It’s easy for people who are good at something to keep doing it.  Extraordinary people are those who keep trying when things are hard and don’t give up.  Today, I bless you with all the blessings of love, peace, joy, and wisdom that the Lord promised in His holy word.  As you begin your journey of becoming a man, I want to give you this special gift as a symbol of your growth toward independence.  You are an amazing boy and I am blessed to be your mother.

My gift to him was a personalized apron and a cookbook.  Beside encouraging him to love the Lord with all his heart, it's my job to train him for the real world.  I want him to be a blessing to himself, those around him, and especially his future wife and family.  So that means, he needs to know how to cook a little and also do some household chores.  I have been teaching him how to cook and make simple meals.  Because he is older now, he will have the privilege to handle a small part of our household budget and will also have to do his own laundry. 

God's Gentle Reminder

As soon as the New Year began, work just took off.  Trying to still work out and run amidst my work schedule is leaving me with no time to blog or watch TV.  But I had to blog about this since it's indeed God's way of reminding me to stay on the path. 

I had a touching conversation with J, boy #2 tonight on the drive home just he and I. 
J: I am going to make you a rubber band bracelet, what color would you like?
Me: Purple, why are you making me one?  It's not my birthday or Mother's day.
J:  Because you are my beloved Mama and I love spending time with you.  (Awww!)
Me: Oh, I love you too.  How did you know how to use the word "beloved"?
J: I read it in a book.  Do you love me more now or when I was a baby?
Me:  I love you the same because you are my beloved J.  But I do miss the time when you were a chubby baby.  I love cuddling with you and sleep.  And I loved it when you tried to kiss me but didn't know how so you ended up eating my chin instead. 
J: I don't want to leave home to go to college because I don't want to leave you. 
Me:  You need to go to college.  You will love it because you get to spend lots of time with your friends and learn new things. 
J:  I can spend time with my friends in the day time and come home at night.  I don't want to leave my family. 

WOW!  That touched my heart in such a deep way.  I know that will change when he is a teen, but I am thankful for his heart now.  With all the mistakes that I made and the yelling that I did, I can't believe he still values his time with me. 

Recently, recruiters have been contacting me about job opportunities.  I went on some interviews, but of course they are looking for full time employee.  There is a job that's perfect for me.  Good pay, great industry, and with potential upward possibility.  It's just what my career needs.  They also like me.  So if I am willing to work full time, the job is mine.  But I turned them down and offer to work 80-85% of the work week.  That's the most I've work since C was born.  Of course, they don't want that.  So I didn't get it.  I don't know about other moms, but I've always been thorn between career and family.  I am an ambitious person, I want to achieve more.  But I also want to give my kids my time and attention.  Turning down good jobs are hard for me no matter how many times I did it.  Each time is hard and each time I have to remind myself that home is where God calls me to be.  It's where I should channel my energy.  Sometimes I also wonder, is my sacrifice making a difference?  Or did I do it for nothing?  I wasn't sure of the benefit, but I am sure that's what God wants me to do.  So I keep looking for a part time job because I know He will provide.  Tonight, God used J to remind me that I am making a difference.  My sacrifice is well worth it because J values my time with him.  I will continue to seek for jobs that fits into the family's schedule and priority.  Thank you Lord for reminding me to stay true to what You've called me to and You will take care of the rest.

The Benefit of Memorizing Verses

Christmas is such a crazy time of the year.  I love celebrating the birth of Christ, but there are so many things to do, gifts to buy, cookies to bake, and people to appreciate.  No matter how busy, I normally like to keep our Christmas traditions.  So that when the kids are grown, they can think back to the time they were at home and the things we did together to celebrate and honor the birth of our Savior.  I also want them to appreciate the true meaning of Christmas and to think beyond to the gifts to the Giver of all gifts.

One thing we do leading up to Christmas is a similar version of the Advent calendar.  I use this book The Advent Jesse Tree.  It has 25 devotions, one for each day in December.  It starts with creation and includes significant stories from Old Testament, pointing to and prophesizing of the Savior, to the birth of Christ.  And it also suggest an ornament to go along with each devotion.  We have been doing this for 4 years now.  Prior to starting, I have collected and made ornaments for these devotions.  So every night in December, we read a devotion and talked about it's role in God's plan for the human race.  Then the kids, guess which ornament goes with that devotion and get to put it on the tree.  The boys loved guessing and K have started to like digging through my box of special ornaments too.  If I don't like a certain ornament, the boys would keep an eye out for it through out the year or even help make me another one.  Sometime life gets hectic and we skip a devotion or two, but the boys would always want to make it up.

Today's devotion was about Isaiah the prophet foretold that God would send a Savior to the world.  He is the Prince of Peace which one day will bring us lasting peace.  The verse to read was Isaiah 9:6-7.  I started to reach for the Bible and turn to Isaiah, but J and then later C, started reciting the the verse to me.
For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
They said it's a verse they learned in Awana.  I thought they just memorized it quickly for the prize, I didn't think they actually can recall it based on the reference.  WOW! I was so impressed.  They memorized more verses than me now.  I am so thankful that they are hiding God's word in their heart.  I pray that God would use those verses in their heart and mind to help them in the future and draw them closer to Himself.

My First 10K Race

I can't believe I actually ran a race today.  Just back in July, I didn't like running.  I started to exercise in January of 2013 and began to really love it.  I love reaching new heights physically and feeling good about myself.  Endorphins really kept me positive and up beat, so I wanted to be more and more active.  So I decided to run.  After I ran around Lake Merritt in Oakland and actually liked it.  I was hooked on running.  Don't get me wrong, I still have days where I don't want to run and much prefer to stay in bed.  But I push myself and ended up loving it.  So thankful that I found a group of moms at the boys' school to run with every Sunday.  They keep me going.  I am a slow and steady runner, I want to be able to finish every race.  In a normal week, I tried to run 4 -5 miles 2 - 3 times and I don't have any problem doing it.  But today, perhaps all the food from Thanksgiving.  I had a hard time starting the race.  And the last miles was tough with inclines.  I had to keep my eyes on the finish line to keep myself motivated.  I feel like it was a big accomplishment.  Part of me want to train for the half marathon in 2014, but part of me is fearful of it.  If my body is able to keep up, I am willing to try.

  

Florida Trip

We have been so busy preparing for our Florida trip and then, after that, caught up with holiday stuff that I didn't properly document our trip.  What a blessing it was for us to be at World Disney World. We couldn't have gone if it wasn't for H's work, who paid for some of the trip.  It was such a great trip that the boys still talk about it and wants to go back.

Bird Show

First day Animal Kingdom.  The boys favorite part was the bird show, where birds flew all around us doing tricks.  Safari was great!  We got to see animals in its habitat with out constrains.  At the end of the day, we saw the Lion King show.  It was a live musical with acrobatic monkeys doing tricks on ropes, like in the circus.

The fearless girl.

Day 2, Hollywood Studio.  This place was all about shows and more shows.  The boys wanted to sign up to be in the live Jedi show and the Toy Story ride.  But both were full and no more fastpast by 9:30am.  Keep in mind that the park opens at 9 am.  We were there at 9:30am and no luck for those, so they were disappointed. But the boys rode on the Star War ride multiple times, so WDW have many themes for that ride.  The boys favorite show is the Light, Motor, Action, car stunt show.  They learned how Hollywood shoot car chase scene.  They even showed us a car with steering wheel facing the back so that it would seems like the car is going backward, but it's really going forward.  We even saw a car that split in half and came back together.  K had a hard time with all the shows because she doesn't like loud sound in the darkness.  Since most shows have both, she didn't like that one bit. 

 

Day 3, Magic Kingdom.  This park was all about rides.  All the kids were so tired from the previous two days that we moved really really slowly this day.  Went on the Buzz Light Year ride, drove their own car, Pirate of the Carribean, Jungle Cruise, Space Mountain, and Big Thumder Railroad.  Of course we stayed to see Fantasmic, which was a little scary for the kids, especially K, because of the music.

Have to get a pic with Mickey to prove that we were there.

Day 4, Blizzard Beach.  The day was not a perfect day for water park, the sun wasn't out.  But since the temperature is still in the low 80s, we went anyways.  The park had tons of water slides; most of them do not have a height limit, but some do since it's high.  There was a beach like area and an area for little kids.  K didn't like the big water slides, but the smaller one she loves.  The boys loved it so much that they said they like it better than the other Disney park.  Later that day we drove to Club Med Sandpiper Bay.

Water slide race.  Of course the heaviest wins.

Day 5, we just lounged around because J got sick and vomited 5 times. 

Day 6, everyone else, beside K, started to have stomach problem.  So again we didn't do anything except walking around and watching their show.  Club Med had sooo much good food and such varieties and it's all included.  But none of us can eat much of it.

Day 7, we started to feel better so we went swimming and H tried the trapeze, hoping to inspire the boys to try it.  Trapeze is the popular activity at Club Med.  H swinged down fine, but not flexible enough to get his legs onto the bar to hang upside down.  He was so nervous the whole time, but braved it for the boys. 

Noticed his leg curved up.  What he does when he is nervous.

C is great at the monkey bar, so he had no problem.

Day 8, the boys finally had enough courage to go on the trapeze.  I was so proud of them.  It was pretty high up.  Although there were harness, it was still pretty scary.  It was the opportunity to show them that it was safe and being brave doesn't mean not being scare, but moving forward despite fear.  They did it and did it beautifully.  I knew they could.  J even said that it was just a little scary and that it was fun. I tried the trapeze. I got up fine, swinging fine, and getting my legs up the bar to hang upside down fine.  But when I was told to let go and just hang by my legs, I got nervous.  I just didn't trust that my legs can hang on and I didn't want to all on my head.  The trainer kept telling me to let go and eventually I did.  So exhilarating. 

Day 9, H and I sent the kids off the kids' club so we have a day to ourselves.  The boys were opposed to being apart from us cause they just want to hang out as a family.  But we explained to them that Mommy and Daddy needs time to ourselves.  But of course K, being an extrovert, loved meeting people and being with strangers.  I tried the trapeze again and it did it better.  So much fun.

Day 10, we drove back to Orlando.  We booked a hotel with an attached water park called Cocoa Beach since the kids loved water slides so much.  I can't believe that the boys went really tall water slides by themselves.  Even the ones that dropped them straight down.  K loved the ones that's her size.  At night, we visited our friends, the Laus, and had dinner with them and a popular BBQ place.  Such good food. 

Day 11, we flew home.  Follow this link for more pictures.

What a wonderful trip!

Counting My Blessings Finale

I had to take a break from blogging to get ready for all church camp.  Now back to counting my blessings.

11. Getting my CPA license was a journey of trust, faith, & reliance on the Lord.  I was never a good test taker.  And to have to sit two full days for the exam was gruesome.  Most of my EY co-workers passed it during their first try, but it took me 4 tries.  I can only take it once a year, so 4 tries means almost 4 years.  The battle of perseverance was long and hard and many times I wanted to quit, but I knew God wanted to me to continue.  When I felt prepared, I ended up failing.  The time I passed was when I felt least prepared and was 6 months pregnant with C.  I had to rest and go to the bathroom so many times that it took time away from my exam.  But yet, I still passed.  God showed me that my accomplishment is not by my own wisdom or strength, but by His power and grace. 

12. God richly blessed us with our house.  We started with a 1000 sq ft house in SL and upgraded to this almost 2600 sq ft house in CV.  With me working part time since C was born, we were not able to save very much.  Yet through increased equity, we are able to upgrade.  With the housing bubble bursting, our mortgage was never under water.  In a period where some people lost their home due to foreclosure, we were able to upgrade.  This is only because of His blessing.

13.  My richest blessing was the birth of the boys.  Both were born healthy and without complication.  Although I had to push for over 2 hours for C without epidural, it's much shorter than some other story.  We had a hard time with C because he was not feeding well and I was inexperienced.  We literally got on our knees, lifted him up, and prayed for God's mercy and guidance.  He grew fine despite eating only 5 oz of milk a day for weeks as an infant.  When J was born, he was an extremely good baby.  Ate well and slept well.  God knew that I can't handle another tough one.

14.  Many of you have heard our adoption story which included so many miracles and blessings.  We were given a healthy girl (only with minor heart problem) and she had every few attachment issues when we got her.  When we didn't have the remaining adoption fee and had plans to max out all our credit cards, friends and families provided the funds that we needed.  The adoption process and transition in China was smooth and safe, something we were concerned about when we contemplated whether or not to bring the boys.  It turned out to be a great experience for everyone. 

15.  Ever since I had kids, God always provided jobs that were flexible and fits into our family's schedule.  It's important for me to be involve in my kids' school and to know their teachers and friends.  I wanted to help them develop socially.  And I wanted to be home with them as much as I can.  My jobs allowed me to do this so far.  When the supposedly "good job" made me miserable, I didn't want to quit because I fear that I can't get another one just as flexible.  Then, God brought me another.  Although this new job pays almost 30% less, it's a blessing that I can bring home a paycheck. God never promised that He will make me rich, but will He always take care of my needs.

16.   Another big miracle and blessing is that I can see that God is changing me and giving me the desire to know and draw closer to Him.  He is changing me both physically and spiritually.  Physically, I have lost over 30 pounds and my lifestyle have changed completely (180 degree).  I used to dread exercising and particularly running.  But now, I exercise 5 times a week and looks forward to it.  Some days I exercise at 6 am.  Before, I can't even run a block, but now I can run 5 miles at a time.  I have even signed up for a 10K in November.  I love the high feeling I get after a run and the accomplishment I get when I am able to lift more weight than what I'm used to.  Even H said that I am completely different, when I tell him my goals for running, he would say, "Who are you?"  Spiritually, God is reaching out to me where I am.  Although I am sinful and broken, He is gentle and patience with me.  When I cry out to Him, He speaks to me.  Before, I am NOT a morning person.  I only wake up 10 mins before the drop dead time that I HAVE to wake up and not a minute more.  Now, I wake up early enough to have time to pray, read God's word, AND make hot breakfast.  Who am I?  I couldn't have change on my own, I have sure tried before.  This change is the work of the Almighty God. 

Counting My Blessing Cont...

As I continue to reflect on all the blessings of my life, it's hard to deny the existent of God and that He has a plan for my life.

5. In my childhood years, God brought many adults, aside from my parents, into my life that actually took an interest in me.  They helped me through difficult situations and mentored me.  Most of them are my high school fellowship sponsor and Sunday School teachers.  And even a non-christian teacher coached me through my awkward teen years.

6. God kept me safe through out all my years in Oakland public school.  In Jr High, when Chinese kids were getting beat up on buses for just being Asian, I was spared.  In high school, a cherry bomb exposed 3 feet in front of me and I graduated without a scratch.

7. In my high school years, I went through a defiance and disobedience stage in life where I didn't want to listen to the wise words of my parents and chose to be the "bad girl". Through that period, God kept me from myself, protected me from harm, and prevented me from getting life threatening diseases.

8. I was the first in my family to go to college, so I had no idea how to prep for that.  I didn't visit any school or talk to anyone about colleges.  But for some reason, I knew that I wanted to go to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.  Perhaps they had a good architectural program that I might be interested in, but in honesty, I wasn't that into architecture after interning at an architecture firm for a few summer.  I was accepted and was all set to go away to San Luis Obispo.  The summer before my freshman year, the doctor told my mom that she needed a hysterectomy due to her tumor.  The surgery was not life threatening, but it will take her about 6 months of recover before she can lift heavy things.  At the time, my family owned a donut shop which required her to lift heavy things and bake and stand on her feet.  When she cannot work, I am her substitute.  The surgery was suppose to be in May, but was pushed back to end of August.  But I was suppose to start college in September.  So that means I may not be able to go since my mom won't be completely recovered.  To make a long story short, God blessed my mom with a really quick recovery that even the doctor was surprised.  Within 3 months she was already working at the store and my aunts in NY came over to help out so I can go to college like I planned.  To me this was a miracle.

9. College was a life transforming time for me.  It was there that I finally chose to live for Christ and started to grow as a Christian.  In my college fellowship, I grew closer to God, learned how to serve Him, and went on missions to learn how to evangelize.  Also, it was there that I met my life partner and mate, H Mak.  I had an awesome college experience and loved it.  Notice I didn't mention anything about my field of study.  Although I did well, the education was not the highlight.

10.  As business student with a concentration in accounting who wants to be in tax, getting a job with one of the Big 5 accounting firm, at the time, was a BIG deal.  Everybody wants it.  But from talking to people and career counselors, big companies usually go for the well rounded student with good grades, lots of extra curricular activities, outgoing and fun personality, and someone who knows how to network and build relationships.  I have the grades and that's about it.  I got through the first round of interview with most big companies.  But during the second round of interview with EY, I did soooo poorly.  I probably said something not so PC.  Then, I ended up leaving a voice mail for the recruiter explaining what I said.  Then, I called back again explaining why I left the first message.  THEN, I called back again explaining my second message.  AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! How stupid was that?!  Even through all that, I got the most coveted job, to start my career at E&Y.  This is all because God wanted me there, definitely not because of my ability or merit. 

More to come next time...