God said to me, "Pray and watch what I can do."

It’s been so long since I journal anything on this site.  I’ve been so busy with everything.  I constantly feel like I have 10 pots cooking but only 9 lids, so I have to constantly switch lids to cover the most urgent thing first.   Journaling helps my forgetful brain to remember all of God’s blessing.  

When the kids were little, I feel like I have some form of control.  I can dictate where I send them to for childcare, I can control what they eat, I make them obey to a certain extend, and I can control and limit things that may have a bad influence.  But as they grow older, I have less and less control.  They want more control and less likely to take my advice.  They want to do things their way.  As I loose control in their lives, I became afraid of what they will become.   This summer, as I prepared to send my eldest to middle school, I heard God’s calling for me to lead a moms’ prayer group for the elementary school.  I felt God is saying to me, “Pray and watch what I can do.”  I do need to draw close to my Creator through prayer.  So in the summer, I pray for ONE mom to join me to pray on Friday when the school year starts.  The previous prayer group only had three people so I didn’t expect too many interested moms.  I held a social for people to come hang out and find out more and for the previous leader to share all the miracles God did through her prayers.  To my amazement, there were 13 who came.  The prayer meeting now consistently had 4-6 people.  WOW!!!  I only asked for one and God blessed the group 4-6 folds.  I see how BIG God is, I can ask for BIGGER things. 

Ever since I started praying with this group of moms, I started to be more conscious of how I pray.  Moms in Prayer International is the organization that gives guidance to the prayer group and they pray using the 4 steps prayer: praise, confession, thanksgiving, and finally supplication.  Asking is the last part.  In praise, confession, and thanksgiving there shouldn’t be any requests.  For example, in the praise portion, we are supposed to focus on one attribute of God and praise Him regarding that attribute (not making any prayer requests).  This is so that we realize how powerful and awesome God is.  We are so needy that we constantly ask and never focus on the other parts of prayer.  So I have been more conscious about starting my prayer with praises and thanksgiving and I have been making the boys aware that they need to do that as well.  But of course this is hard for them since asking for help is easier than thinking of attributes of God.  Sometimes I don’t know if anything I say is getting through to them.  But as I “pray and watch what God can do,” He gave me hopes and encouragements on this very difficult parenting journey.  Last week, Dai-dai prayed with Mui before putting her to bed and I heard him say, “God you are the Creator of this awesome universe, thank you for creating today.”  I was soooo excited!!!!! He is getting it!!!!!!!  He is beginning to praise God and beginning to realize God’s greatness.  HE is awesome and worthy of my praise.

Turning another leaf in the book of life

Today is my last day at the job in Walnut Creek.  This is the first time I am leaving a company with no hard feelings.  Just leaving for a better opportunity.  So saying good bye is harder this time. I took up a job as Tax Manager in San Francisco.  I thought long and hard about this job.  I would never apply for a manager position because I don't want too much responsibilities at work.  I just want to earn money and spend time with my family.  So this job literally just dropped on my lap.  I didn't know I was interviewing for a tax manager position going to the interview.  The recruiter called me and asked weather I would like to interview with a CPA firm since they are willing to accommodate my part time schedule.  So I thought why not?  I didn't ask what position since I don't care what position as long as they are willing to pay me what I think I am worth. When I got to the interview, the conference room door says, "Reserve for Tax Manager Interview - KM."  They were ready to hire me after the interview.  Still I fear the stress of being a manager.  I can manage people, but I just don't know what kind of expectations they have of me in term of tax expertise.  I know some tax laws after working on it for so many years, but I am no expert or will I ever be.  God just opened all the doors this time.  They gave me an offer and I even went back to ask for higher salary and they agreed without hesitation.  On top of that, they are willing to pay me 75% of a full time salary when I have clearly communicated that I can only work 20 hrs during non-busy season and 30 hrs during busy season.  It seems like this job is handed to me so I owe it to myself to give it a try.  I fear that I would fail miserably, but I am reminded of what God said in Isaiah 41:10, "Fear not, for I am with you.  Be not dismay, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, yes, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  After reading Genesis 39-40, I began to pray that God would guide me and bless me at this new work place like He did for Joseph.  God blessed Potipher, the prison guard, and the entire Egypt for the sake of Joseph and whatever he did he was prosperous.  It would be such a humbling experience if God would bless my workplace because of me.

As I look at my resume, I realized that God was there every step of the way.  I literally have a story to tell with every job.  God's footprints were apparent at my first job with EY.  Before graduation, I was scheduled to interview with three of the Big 5 (back then).  But I only got a second interview with EY.  I was so inexperienced and nervous that of course I had trouble communicating during the interview.  Afterwards, I called the HR recruiter back to explain what I meant by what I said.  Then I called back 5 more times to leave a message on her voicemail to explain all my previous phone calls.  I can't believe I did that.  If I were the recruiter, I would not hire me.  But I got the job anyways.  Fresh out of college with a prestigious firm.  Something that I thought only the outgoing, extrovert, and smart girls get.  Never thought I had a shot, but God reminded me that it's by His grace and not my own power.

Then, EY got to be too stressful for me after having C.  I needed another job that's part time.  Part time job is not easy to come by, so it took about 6 mons and a recruiter called me about a tax position with Alta Partners, a venture capital firm, that only needed tax help for 20 hrs a week.  Perfect!!!!  The first interview went smoothly.  But during the second interview I was not able to answer a few technical questions on things I haven't worked on before.  But I still got the job.  They offered me a higher salary than EY and still had medical benefit for everyone in my family.  I only worked 20 hrs, but had full benefits.  What a blessing!

God provided this Walnut Creek job as an escape from Alta after my time there was done.  He now paved the way for a different position.  Since He had it all planned out, it only make sense to trust in His guidance and provision.